Who Am I? Getting to Know the Face Behind the Blog

Hello world! My name is Lorraine and this website and the services I offer is the result of a chance encounter I had on a cancer ward at the beginning of the Covid19 pandemic. I was in day 4 of my stay on the ward, I had convinced the nurse's earlier in the day that I did not need to be hooked up to an I.V for water and promised I’d drink enough. I used my new found freedom from the metal pole and tubes to wander around the hospital floor. I was battling breast cancer and was hospitalised after my first round of chemotherapy; pain was streaking through my spine and would not let up even with strongest painkillers. I was beginning to succumb to one of my pet peeves, boredom. So, I went exploring. On my travels, I found many busy angels in disguise dressing wounds, taking temperatures and administering medicines, a brisk dance where I was trying not to interrupt the flow.

I found a fellow traveller in the aisle that was searching for something. She was a frail looking lady in her 80's with a smart robe and comfy slippers looking intensely for what looked like a person. She pulled me over to her and in a panicked voice informed me that she could not go home, she needed to stay here, from her tone of voice it sounded like she did not find it safe to be at home. I questioned her as I had the opposite view, there was a pandemic converting most of the hospital into quarantine zones, we were in the only non-covid specialised spot at that point. I wanted desperately to go home where I could safely not have to worry about every cough and sneeze from others.

I asked her why didn't see want to go home? She looked at me with a look of shock and then mumbled 'you wouldn't understand' followed by 'ah, you're not a nurse?' I mentioned I was a fellow patient and she didn't even say goodbye as she hurriedly wandered off to find a nurse.

The conversation haunted me long after my stay on the ward, it fundamentally hit something in my core, why did she not feel safe in her own home over a place where disease control was the only thing standing between her and possible respiratory and skin infections. Surely recovering in her bed at home in the warm was the best spot after chemotherapy? I sought to answer this question by entering the work force once I was feeling better from the treatments as a home help for the elderly and disabled. I noticed that during the pandemic, people all came to me with the same complaint 'Care was not caring for them during that time' and it caused mental scars. I spent more than a year working in thuiszorg (Dutch home help services) and found that what clients were missing was a supportive and concerned helper. Someone there to listen to them, someone to help them work through the tangle of tasks both physical and psychological.

I decided to become a counsellor from this experience as my work was more dedicated at that point to assisting with things that I assumed a psychologist was required for. The people I advised to see their GP for a psychologist referral came back with an answer I did not expect, I don't need a doctor, I just want someone that can listen, someone that cares. So, I researched an alternative and found the work of Carl Rogers and an academy that taught courses based on the principles that the client is perfect and the client is an equal on their own journey. I view this as key to my practice, we are equals, not patient and caretaker and together I hope I can walk with you and reflect on your journey with you.